About “The Emperor’s New Groove” in a few words:

“The Emperor’s New Groove” is a vibrant, comedic animation from Disney that revolves around Emperor Kuzco, who is turned into a llama by his ex-advisor, Yzma. Stranded in the jungle, he reluctantly teams up with a good-natured villager named Pacha. As the two embark on a journey filled with hilarity and life lessons, they encounter a variety of unforgettable characters, each adding flavor to this delightful tale of redemption and friendship.

Meet the characters from The Emperor’s New Groove

Kuzco

Kuzco is the kind of self-obsessed emperor who somehow stays wildly charming even when he’s being insufferable. He struts through life like it’s a runway — demands that everything revolve around his whims — but then, maddeningly, he actually grows up a bit and can be decent when it counts. He’s snarky, dramatic, loves his merengue (or is it macaroni?) and has this ridiculous habit of picturing himself as a llama more often than anyone should. He says he hates responsibility but secretly enjoys being the center of attention in ways that suggest he kind of, maybe, relishes it? Also, his fashion sense is immaculate, obviously.

Pacha

Pacha is the gentle, steady heart of the story — the tired-but-kind everyman who somehow keeps his whole village (and a very bratty emperor) from falling apart. He is practical, stubborn in a good way, and suspiciously patient; like, he will calmly tell you you shouldn’t build a palace on a hill and then feed you a stew that tastes like home. Family-first to the core: warm, moral, and a little grumpy in the mornings, but he can also surprise you with quiet bravery when push comes to shove. There’s something unexpectedly whimsical about him too — he collects tiny carved animals or maybe that’s Pacha’s wife? — and he laughs easy, even when things are chaotic. He does not like llamas (or does he?), I forget, but he probably does and would deny it with his whole face.

Yzma

Yzma is the delightfully over-the-top villain who thinks every problem can be solved with a potion and a dramatic eyebrow raise. She’s brilliant in a mad-scientist way, invents horrible things in a lab that looks like a thrift store exploded, and has tenure-level resentment toward anyone younger or cuter. Her fashion is tragic glam — spiky, purple, very angry hat energy — and she somehow manages to be terrifying and ridiculous at the same time. She plots with full theatrical flair, fails spectacularly (often because of one very confused henchman), and occasionally shows signs of a petty insecurity that is oddly endearing. Also, I could swear she has a secret fondness for orchids or tiny statues, but that might just be me projecting.

Kronk

Kronk is the big, goofy, muscle-y sidekick who is also inexplicably a culinary genius and a moral philosopher when pressed. He loves spinach puffs like it’s a religion, talks to his shoulder angel/shoulder devil in full Shakespearean whispers, and can somehow both chop a carrot and lose a fight of wits all in one afternoon. He’s pure-hearted, loyal to a fault, and ridiculously good at everything physical (cooking, fighting, dancing) but also adorably dim about what “villainy” entails. There are little contradictions — he’s grossly competent in the kitchen yet baffled by simple instructions, strong but the softest soul — and honestly, he might be the best part of the movie. Plus, he whistles to squirrels, or maybe that was a different scene; either way, he has weird hobbies and I love him.